Post by cevax on Jul 25, 2011 11:40:07 GMT -5
This exactly what the title says,
I will start
Well it’s been a long 3years and 8 months, I have changed in ways I would have never imagined. I am cold, calculated and fucking severely stressed out, I get panic attacks and have uncontrollable rage towards people where I just want to fucking grab them by the necks and twist it like a fucking twig. Like I need physiatrists to help me out, that’s how bad it is. I went from a place where all I did was fix computers all day, I will drive or walk from one place to another and fix or replace computer equipment and never deal with customer. Then I decided to get a job fixing people cell phones, I thought “This is a great idea, everybody needs a cell phone”. FUCK but I didn’t realize people can be so FUCKING stupid, like I am convinced the world will end one day not by a giant rock or aliens. It will end by all of the worlds stupidity will simply come together and create a giant ball of stupefied energy and simply suck the world into it and cease to exist.
Like I don’t even sleep anymore, I don’t know what this fucking place broke in there but I cant I just cant find another job dealing with people, I don’t care if I have to go down to Mexico and bring a truck load of delicious nose candy to make ends meet. Between working with people and jail… shit I pick jail.
You have to understand what I mean, I have 3 years and 8 months of dealing with 20-40 people a day, while not all are total dumbasses and large, VERY large percentage of them surprise me that they are even alive and have not forgotten how to fucking breath. These fucking idiots fucking question my intelligence with their fucking existence, never mind the fucking garbage that comes out of their mouths.
At first it wasn’t that bad, people will come in with simple questions or a legit phone that wasn’t working. Every 3rd person will ask “when is the iphone coming out” (for 3 years) and that got annoying but manageable. The problem was always the same, and it was always an LG phone. It either shut off randomly (all LG phones do that) or a broken hinge..(also LG). Of course there where people that thought they where special and every time they had a problem they though that I could just give them a brand new phone of their choice. While annoying, self righteous pricks have always and will always exist... That was manageable,
About 6 months in with the popularity of the iphone things started to change and cell phone manufactures all went into overdrive in getting the next best thing. They all started heavy marketing and PR stunts to get the people to come in. This attracted a new breed of customers, the hipsters that think they know everything, and also the FUCKING LAZY ASS DOUCHE BAGS. The hipsters are the ones that come saying you are a useless fuck all while stating their phone should handle HD video playback just like there home computer. Fantastic, go ahead an play your 1920-1080p video on you 800-400 resolution dirt cheap cell phone display on your fantastic piece of shit 400mhz cell phone processor. They are the ones that look at something and can tell you all that is capable off, without knowing any of the specs of the hardware, because they are SO smart that they can literally feel it, a little voice tells them all it is capable of. They are also Apple number 1 customers, they buy shiny things with no substance. Just don’t tell them that, otherwise they will insult you mother and call you a dumbass.
They do not believe in faults or bugs, or simply stressed hardware or software. If a phone shuts off because it’s been on for 5 days of straight abuse, they don’t understand that and believe they need another phone. They fight and fight and you finally give in and give them another fucking phone. The problem is a phone does not fix the problem, 10 days later they come back with the same problem. Its 100 percent user error but they are so HIP they refuse to believe that and will not, I mean WILL NOT, accept your answer. Once I called the manufacture of the phone, the company the Engineered the phone and spoke with them. The fucking bitch still wouldn’t accept my answer, “IT shouldn’t do that it shouldn’t do that” All You have to do bitch is every 4th day just restart your fucking phone like you restart your fucking computer and it will work fine but NO NO!! Your fucking cell phone is obviously MORE fucking technologically advanced than your fucking computer you FUCKING DUMBASS. Your 120v, 800 watt 3gigaherts, 6gig ram, computer built to handle everything you can throw at it at its price range is not as advanced as your underpowered cell phone running on a 900milliamp battery….. YEA FUCKING RIGHT YOU FUCKING TWIT. Or the one that sends 27 thousand text messages a months and receives 20 thousand in return A MONTH, that’s a txt every couple of seconds all day long and she doesn’t understand why the keyboard stop working after a couple of months. REALLY REALLY!!! WTF DO THEY WANT.. Those are the hipsters, they buy things they don’t understand while believing with all of there ability to believe… that they do indeed know everything about it. They buy things simply to show off and be better than the person next to them… Apple fans
And now the lazy ass douche bags, they are worse then the hipsters, much worse. These know absolutely nothing, NOTHING and have absolutely no desire to learn anything they are contempt the way they are. They believe that what they don’t know is simply my problem not theirs. These are the ones that come in and totally curse at you, put you down. Talk down to you because they believe they are better than me and it is my requirement to simply bow down and do what ever they desire me to do. They will not accept no for an answer and will fight until they get what they want. These are the ones that buy things without doing any research at all, buys a phone and it doesn’t sync with the car. They would have known if they have done research that this particular phone doesn’t support OBEX. No they come to me and say that the phone does not sync with the car,
ME. The phone is not compatible with that car
ASSHOLE.. Well the sales rep didn’t tell me that.
ME. You picked the phone, you simply asked the rep if it support Bluetooth
ASSHOLE.. Does this phone support Bluetooth?
ME.. Yes
ASSHOLE.. Well genius it doesn’t work with my car, My contacts didn’t transfer
ME.. The phone will only work for phonecalls, you will have to add the contacts manually. The phone doesn’t have the necessary Bluetooth profile.
ASSHOLE.. I have 100 contacts this is ridiculous, Bluetooth is Bluetooth
ME… no certain phones have different Bluetooth profiles
ASSHOLE.. NO Bluetooth is Bluetooth they simply work together.
At this point the asshole is pissing me off, he is calling me stupid when in reality he is the fucking dumbass.
Me.. There are various different Bluetooth profiles, DUN, OBEX etc etc, both devices need to have the required for certain services. Your car requires an OBEX profile in order for contacts to transfer and your phone doesn’t support it.
ASSHOLE.. WELL I BOUGHT THIS PHONE HERE AND I NEED YOU NEED TO MAKE IT WORK. I OWN A BUSINESS AND I NEED THIS WORKKING BARK BARK BARK BARK IM A BITCH.
See this prick didn’t accept my answer because he is obviously correct and smarter than me, actually he is so smart that instead of using his knowledge to fix the problem he is needs me to do it for him because that is how smart he is. He is so fucking smart that he doesn’t realize that it is not possible to make his bullshit phone support a feature it was never designed to support. It becomes another insulting exchange when I tell him that due to his stupid mistake there is a 35 dollar restocking fee.
You know something, I want to have wings, I want to be able to fly and go where ever I want, and it would just be fucking awesome. But you know what, I cant because we simply aren’t made that way, we are designed to roam the earth and that is just the way it is. Just like your new power hungry cell phone doesn’t last 8 hours on a charge. Just the way it is, just like me complaining to my doctor that I want wings he won’t do anything to help me. So you complaining your phone doesn’t hold a charge, I can’t do anything for you. Does my wing thing sound ridiculous and stupid, I bet it does. So does your battery complaint you fucking ignorant retarded customer. Another thing that PISSES me off about the Lazy ass douche bag customer, is that they will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT let you show them how to do something. They will come in and ask you to set up their email and you will try and show them how and they will literally tell you “I just want you to do it”. Seriously every time I hear that I want to shove the phone down their throat.
There is another problem, people will do whatever TV tells them to do. If the TV tells them to believe this or that, they will believe it. If TV tells you to buy this they will buy it. So every time a new phone comes out on the TV they will buy it without doing any research. This brings back horrible, horrible memories, the infamous blackberry storm. The worst phone to ever grace people hands.. WHY because it was marketed as a power house and it was a piece of shit that could barely make phone calls, It has 32mb of free ram available, WTF did people expect. Nevertheless after all the reviews said to avoid because it was total garbage, there was a huge line of people outside just dying to get there infected hands on it. They must have the next shiniest thing just like the TV said. The headaches this phone cause for the next year, are unexplainable. Now these groups waiting in line are both hipster and the douche bags we mentioned earlier. The only difference is that the Douche bags are now trying to be hip, so we get Lazy asshole hipster douche bags,, and god these are intense. These give humanity a bad name. These know nothing and believe they are genius and are contempt the way they are, it’s the equivalent on making an apple tree produce grapes. Making them understand something is harder than making a monkey and a trout have babies.
Then there is the worse of them all, the lying, I have learned that everybody lies, habitually. I lie, I can honestly tell you that I have never, never said the truth to a police officer. Shit even when I have called for help, I would say I saw a gun so they get there faster. But when they lie because they think I am stupid, that pisses me off. Like when you bring in a phone that doesn’t turn on, and I open it and water drips out and you tell me it came like that… WTF do you think I am. OH NO that’s not water, its sweat. Okay so that clear liquid you sweat is not water, huh, so it is purified magic or what. That shit happens at least once a day, some idiot comes in with a water damaged phone and denies it, just purely denies it. I have gotten phones that are sticky and smell like straight piss and they say, no, no it just stopped working. When I show them it’s wet, they get extremely defensive, and that just makes a stressful situation, you know the phone got wet and you are trying to pressure me into giving you what you want. Like I understand people say W/E just don’t think about it, but when you see this shit everyday, EVERY single fucking day it just gets to you and you begin to just not care anymore. You get detached and just say fuck these assholes and honestly I am beyond that at this point..
If I buy a new car, and I crash it, I would never consider bringing it back to the dealership and telling them to fix it under warranty. Actually I am 100 percent sure you can ask anybody in the street, even toddlers the same question and they will tell you “of course not” so why is it different for cell phones. If you break your fucking screen you just broke your fucking screen.. Just because you put your big ass blubber butt on it and it broke it doesn’t mean it wasn’t your fault. If you put it on your purse with all your shit in it and you pull it out and it has a broken display, doesn’t mean it happen magically and its covered under warranty. Common sense right but NO people don’t have it anymore. Or the fact that cell phone insurance has a deductible, WOW an insurance with a deductible.. Who ever thought right… O SHIT do you know your medical, house, car, boat, penis, children, kidnapping insurance also has a deductible.. I never knew that
Anyway then the “droid” came out with a huge marketing campaign and that was where everything escalated and got out of hand. See Google should have called their operating system “beta” instead of android, that thing is full of bugs, exchange email is not reliable enough and the modifications the OEM do to it just ruin it, Motorola ruins, I mean it just ruins the operating system. Add thousands of broken buggy applications on the market and it just makes it even worse. Because android will always be a buggy beta project people just don’t have the smarts to know how to use it, any little thing that happens they automatically believe they need a new phone, or get frustrated and demand a different phone. There are problems that just can’t be troubleshooted and people just don’t understand that. So when you have a buggy broken OS and customer that have no idea how to use it and don’t want to learn how to use it.. Just chaos. I would say out of 10 customers in the door 9 are android phones and 8 are user error and out of those 8 about 6 get replaced. It’s at the point where we can’t do it anymore and just have to do what we can to get he customer out of our faces. We can’t troubleshoot 3rd party software and we can’t troubleshoot dumbasseness and the customer are hell bent they know the problem and just want another phone. I have seen phones replaced because they can’t log in on facebook, that is clearly not a hardware issue but the customer and all his knowledge insisted it was an issue with the phone. When people buy smart phones they believe they are now intelligent and nothing is further from the truth. If you happen to own and android phone, please go to the market and read some of the comments on the applications and see the stupidity of the regular clueless cell phone user. Most of them are complaining or asking questions that are clearly address on the description, or trying to do something that their underpowered phone can’t support to begin with. Or the most hilarious, all the people complaining it take’s 15 or 20 minutes to download that 300mb application. Like clearly that’s the developer’s faults that your cell phone provider only has a slow ass connection… Clearly his fault.. After a while I learned ways of keeping the hipster happy, when they came in looking for a phone I will try my best to make them get an Iphone, since that phone is so “dummified” so ridiculously easy to use, it makes stupid people think they are smart. So even the laziest of the lazy feel contempt because they feel they are geniuses and fail to realize the phone was designed to comfort the masses, stupid or not. The other plus is that it keeps them away from me and I just say go to apple when they really got on my nerves. When an android user comes in with issues I ask one simple question first, do you know your Gmail email address and password. If they answer “I don’t have an Gmail address” then no matter what, they are getting a replacement because I no longer have the patience or power to deal with shit no more. I just have to do what I can to get them to get out of my face… like seriously you own a phone with a GOOGLE!! Operating system, you are downloading programs from the GOOGLE!! Market and you don’t even know that you have a Gmail account. That alone tells me that trying to explain anything is a waste of my time and energy and a new phone will make them leave. It wasn’t like that before, I tried to show and explained but it will many times will end up with an insult and some sort of escalation because they want another model phone. I had a customer that had a Motorola razor and upgraded to a droid 3, and was angry at me because he didn’t like some of the dialer functions on the phone, during the conversation he also mentioned he doesn’t have a home computer. Ok so let me get this straight, you have no idea what a desktop is, and has spent the last 5 years with the most basic phone in existence. You upgrade to a pda and are now demanding features that you never knew existed 2 days ago. He also was angry because the phone has 5 homescreen and he only wants one.. that’s fantastic, way to go buddy, buying a phone that has nothing you like and instead of returning and buying another one or something more to your needs or simply learning the new device, you come in and complain to me about it, because its clearly my fault you fucking twit. This is coming from someone with an android phone so I am not being biased, its just the way it is.
OH and lets not forget about Google search, Every so often,” Every third customer” we will would get someone with a physically damaged phone. It has nick, water beneath the screen or other user end damage that is completely oblivious to the customer. The customer only sees the phone is either unresponsive touch screen or intermittent power. They will come in and say I did a “Google search” and got thousands of search results of people having the same problem. GREAT!! That solves all your issues, lets just give you another phone that I am sure if you Google search will come up with millions of problems as well. You know what, go on Google and search frequent headache or the back of your neck hurt… or you ass hurts.. Go do it. I am positive after a few sites you will be convinced you have cancer. Search anything on Google and you will find more complaints or negatives than good, its UP TO YOU to decide what’s real or bullshit. Not everything on the internet is 100 percent the truth, have you not ever been on CNN.COM that site is completely bullshit.
I am not going to get into to tablets, I just cant, I don’t have the strength to share some of the horror stories I have with tablets. It doesn’t bother me, it hurts me just thinking about tablets and the bullshit people come in with. People don’t seem to realize a tablet is a cellphone with a big screen. There are only two real tablets in the market, the asus eeetablet with the core i5 and Wacom screen, and the heavily modified 3rd party apple modbook, everything else is useless shit.
Also all the rude things these idiots do, Like I am working with a customer and some idiot will walk up and just starts talking like there is no fucking line, that shit happens all day long. The worse thing is that they get mad when I say there is 10 people in line, WTF do you want me to do, help you first and then I have 10 people mad at me. See the problem with humanity is that we only think about ourselves fuck everybody else.
I can go all day with the horrors of doing this type of work, like for example email accounts. I love it when customer come in and tell me, Not ask, no, no, no they can’t be that polite. So they walk up and tell me they have a yahoo account, and for me to set it up. That’s all they tell me because they have no idea what the password or username is. When I tell them I need that to set it up, they respond “well on my home computer I just get emails, it just works like that. Again they are so smart they refuse to believe me that there is indeed a username and password to all email accounts, but no they insist I am the dumbass. Just because outlook or your browser remembers your passwords doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Or they come with there work email or personal website email and ask me to set it up, like I know all the email settings for all email accounts including the ones personally set for you..
Another one are the assholes that don’t back up anything, 5000 cell phone number or 2000 photos and they never think of backing it up. So when they obviously lose it, of course them not backing it up is my fault since I never told them to do so….. Even though I have never met them… Seriously I have had customer literally go, you never told me to do that after I ask them if they have backed it up. I have literally responded, “ I have never seen you in my life” but your right it is obviously my fault you are a fucking dumbass.
My breaking point happened when I was dealing with some idiot with a phone 7 months out of warranty, water damaged and look like it got ran over by a truck. He wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t get a free warranty replacement. He did not get the fact that it was 7 months out of warranty and while he was yelling at me, his spit flew from his germ infested mouth, over my glasses and right in my eye. It began to sting almost instantly, and then I realized that no amount of money is worth this shit. No amount of money is worth dealing with people that come to you for help and only disrespect you, insult you, while they stand there in front of you expecting you to help them. After doing this for this long, I can honestly say I am damaged, this changed the way I think today. Not all where like this, some are really sweet, but it only takes one idiot to ruin your day. There where days where I would leave work so pissed off, it will literally ruin my judgment. One time I drove pass a cop at around 110 mph and the last thing that went through my head was stopping, all I remember was taking a 35 mph exit at 105 a few miles later.
All of this doesn’t matter and Finally, FINALLY it will be over soon, and I will be able to say “fuck you” to all these fucking customers and be done with it. The sad part is as our “entertainment” technology grows people will only get more and more stupid.
I typed this out on my phone, so STFU with spell check
I will start
Well it’s been a long 3years and 8 months, I have changed in ways I would have never imagined. I am cold, calculated and fucking severely stressed out, I get panic attacks and have uncontrollable rage towards people where I just want to fucking grab them by the necks and twist it like a fucking twig. Like I need physiatrists to help me out, that’s how bad it is. I went from a place where all I did was fix computers all day, I will drive or walk from one place to another and fix or replace computer equipment and never deal with customer. Then I decided to get a job fixing people cell phones, I thought “This is a great idea, everybody needs a cell phone”. FUCK but I didn’t realize people can be so FUCKING stupid, like I am convinced the world will end one day not by a giant rock or aliens. It will end by all of the worlds stupidity will simply come together and create a giant ball of stupefied energy and simply suck the world into it and cease to exist.
Like I don’t even sleep anymore, I don’t know what this fucking place broke in there but I cant I just cant find another job dealing with people, I don’t care if I have to go down to Mexico and bring a truck load of delicious nose candy to make ends meet. Between working with people and jail… shit I pick jail.
You have to understand what I mean, I have 3 years and 8 months of dealing with 20-40 people a day, while not all are total dumbasses and large, VERY large percentage of them surprise me that they are even alive and have not forgotten how to fucking breath. These fucking idiots fucking question my intelligence with their fucking existence, never mind the fucking garbage that comes out of their mouths.
At first it wasn’t that bad, people will come in with simple questions or a legit phone that wasn’t working. Every 3rd person will ask “when is the iphone coming out” (for 3 years) and that got annoying but manageable. The problem was always the same, and it was always an LG phone. It either shut off randomly (all LG phones do that) or a broken hinge..(also LG). Of course there where people that thought they where special and every time they had a problem they though that I could just give them a brand new phone of their choice. While annoying, self righteous pricks have always and will always exist... That was manageable,
About 6 months in with the popularity of the iphone things started to change and cell phone manufactures all went into overdrive in getting the next best thing. They all started heavy marketing and PR stunts to get the people to come in. This attracted a new breed of customers, the hipsters that think they know everything, and also the FUCKING LAZY ASS DOUCHE BAGS. The hipsters are the ones that come saying you are a useless fuck all while stating their phone should handle HD video playback just like there home computer. Fantastic, go ahead an play your 1920-1080p video on you 800-400 resolution dirt cheap cell phone display on your fantastic piece of shit 400mhz cell phone processor. They are the ones that look at something and can tell you all that is capable off, without knowing any of the specs of the hardware, because they are SO smart that they can literally feel it, a little voice tells them all it is capable of. They are also Apple number 1 customers, they buy shiny things with no substance. Just don’t tell them that, otherwise they will insult you mother and call you a dumbass.
They do not believe in faults or bugs, or simply stressed hardware or software. If a phone shuts off because it’s been on for 5 days of straight abuse, they don’t understand that and believe they need another phone. They fight and fight and you finally give in and give them another fucking phone. The problem is a phone does not fix the problem, 10 days later they come back with the same problem. Its 100 percent user error but they are so HIP they refuse to believe that and will not, I mean WILL NOT, accept your answer. Once I called the manufacture of the phone, the company the Engineered the phone and spoke with them. The fucking bitch still wouldn’t accept my answer, “IT shouldn’t do that it shouldn’t do that” All You have to do bitch is every 4th day just restart your fucking phone like you restart your fucking computer and it will work fine but NO NO!! Your fucking cell phone is obviously MORE fucking technologically advanced than your fucking computer you FUCKING DUMBASS. Your 120v, 800 watt 3gigaherts, 6gig ram, computer built to handle everything you can throw at it at its price range is not as advanced as your underpowered cell phone running on a 900milliamp battery….. YEA FUCKING RIGHT YOU FUCKING TWIT. Or the one that sends 27 thousand text messages a months and receives 20 thousand in return A MONTH, that’s a txt every couple of seconds all day long and she doesn’t understand why the keyboard stop working after a couple of months. REALLY REALLY!!! WTF DO THEY WANT.. Those are the hipsters, they buy things they don’t understand while believing with all of there ability to believe… that they do indeed know everything about it. They buy things simply to show off and be better than the person next to them… Apple fans
And now the lazy ass douche bags, they are worse then the hipsters, much worse. These know absolutely nothing, NOTHING and have absolutely no desire to learn anything they are contempt the way they are. They believe that what they don’t know is simply my problem not theirs. These are the ones that come in and totally curse at you, put you down. Talk down to you because they believe they are better than me and it is my requirement to simply bow down and do what ever they desire me to do. They will not accept no for an answer and will fight until they get what they want. These are the ones that buy things without doing any research at all, buys a phone and it doesn’t sync with the car. They would have known if they have done research that this particular phone doesn’t support OBEX. No they come to me and say that the phone does not sync with the car,
ME. The phone is not compatible with that car
ASSHOLE.. Well the sales rep didn’t tell me that.
ME. You picked the phone, you simply asked the rep if it support Bluetooth
ASSHOLE.. Does this phone support Bluetooth?
ME.. Yes
ASSHOLE.. Well genius it doesn’t work with my car, My contacts didn’t transfer
ME.. The phone will only work for phonecalls, you will have to add the contacts manually. The phone doesn’t have the necessary Bluetooth profile.
ASSHOLE.. I have 100 contacts this is ridiculous, Bluetooth is Bluetooth
ME… no certain phones have different Bluetooth profiles
ASSHOLE.. NO Bluetooth is Bluetooth they simply work together.
At this point the asshole is pissing me off, he is calling me stupid when in reality he is the fucking dumbass.
Me.. There are various different Bluetooth profiles, DUN, OBEX etc etc, both devices need to have the required for certain services. Your car requires an OBEX profile in order for contacts to transfer and your phone doesn’t support it.
ASSHOLE.. WELL I BOUGHT THIS PHONE HERE AND I NEED YOU NEED TO MAKE IT WORK. I OWN A BUSINESS AND I NEED THIS WORKKING BARK BARK BARK BARK IM A BITCH.
See this prick didn’t accept my answer because he is obviously correct and smarter than me, actually he is so smart that instead of using his knowledge to fix the problem he is needs me to do it for him because that is how smart he is. He is so fucking smart that he doesn’t realize that it is not possible to make his bullshit phone support a feature it was never designed to support. It becomes another insulting exchange when I tell him that due to his stupid mistake there is a 35 dollar restocking fee.
You know something, I want to have wings, I want to be able to fly and go where ever I want, and it would just be fucking awesome. But you know what, I cant because we simply aren’t made that way, we are designed to roam the earth and that is just the way it is. Just like your new power hungry cell phone doesn’t last 8 hours on a charge. Just the way it is, just like me complaining to my doctor that I want wings he won’t do anything to help me. So you complaining your phone doesn’t hold a charge, I can’t do anything for you. Does my wing thing sound ridiculous and stupid, I bet it does. So does your battery complaint you fucking ignorant retarded customer. Another thing that PISSES me off about the Lazy ass douche bag customer, is that they will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT let you show them how to do something. They will come in and ask you to set up their email and you will try and show them how and they will literally tell you “I just want you to do it”. Seriously every time I hear that I want to shove the phone down their throat.
There is another problem, people will do whatever TV tells them to do. If the TV tells them to believe this or that, they will believe it. If TV tells you to buy this they will buy it. So every time a new phone comes out on the TV they will buy it without doing any research. This brings back horrible, horrible memories, the infamous blackberry storm. The worst phone to ever grace people hands.. WHY because it was marketed as a power house and it was a piece of shit that could barely make phone calls, It has 32mb of free ram available, WTF did people expect. Nevertheless after all the reviews said to avoid because it was total garbage, there was a huge line of people outside just dying to get there infected hands on it. They must have the next shiniest thing just like the TV said. The headaches this phone cause for the next year, are unexplainable. Now these groups waiting in line are both hipster and the douche bags we mentioned earlier. The only difference is that the Douche bags are now trying to be hip, so we get Lazy asshole hipster douche bags,, and god these are intense. These give humanity a bad name. These know nothing and believe they are genius and are contempt the way they are, it’s the equivalent on making an apple tree produce grapes. Making them understand something is harder than making a monkey and a trout have babies.
Then there is the worse of them all, the lying, I have learned that everybody lies, habitually. I lie, I can honestly tell you that I have never, never said the truth to a police officer. Shit even when I have called for help, I would say I saw a gun so they get there faster. But when they lie because they think I am stupid, that pisses me off. Like when you bring in a phone that doesn’t turn on, and I open it and water drips out and you tell me it came like that… WTF do you think I am. OH NO that’s not water, its sweat. Okay so that clear liquid you sweat is not water, huh, so it is purified magic or what. That shit happens at least once a day, some idiot comes in with a water damaged phone and denies it, just purely denies it. I have gotten phones that are sticky and smell like straight piss and they say, no, no it just stopped working. When I show them it’s wet, they get extremely defensive, and that just makes a stressful situation, you know the phone got wet and you are trying to pressure me into giving you what you want. Like I understand people say W/E just don’t think about it, but when you see this shit everyday, EVERY single fucking day it just gets to you and you begin to just not care anymore. You get detached and just say fuck these assholes and honestly I am beyond that at this point..
If I buy a new car, and I crash it, I would never consider bringing it back to the dealership and telling them to fix it under warranty. Actually I am 100 percent sure you can ask anybody in the street, even toddlers the same question and they will tell you “of course not” so why is it different for cell phones. If you break your fucking screen you just broke your fucking screen.. Just because you put your big ass blubber butt on it and it broke it doesn’t mean it wasn’t your fault. If you put it on your purse with all your shit in it and you pull it out and it has a broken display, doesn’t mean it happen magically and its covered under warranty. Common sense right but NO people don’t have it anymore. Or the fact that cell phone insurance has a deductible, WOW an insurance with a deductible.. Who ever thought right… O SHIT do you know your medical, house, car, boat, penis, children, kidnapping insurance also has a deductible.. I never knew that
Anyway then the “droid” came out with a huge marketing campaign and that was where everything escalated and got out of hand. See Google should have called their operating system “beta” instead of android, that thing is full of bugs, exchange email is not reliable enough and the modifications the OEM do to it just ruin it, Motorola ruins, I mean it just ruins the operating system. Add thousands of broken buggy applications on the market and it just makes it even worse. Because android will always be a buggy beta project people just don’t have the smarts to know how to use it, any little thing that happens they automatically believe they need a new phone, or get frustrated and demand a different phone. There are problems that just can’t be troubleshooted and people just don’t understand that. So when you have a buggy broken OS and customer that have no idea how to use it and don’t want to learn how to use it.. Just chaos. I would say out of 10 customers in the door 9 are android phones and 8 are user error and out of those 8 about 6 get replaced. It’s at the point where we can’t do it anymore and just have to do what we can to get he customer out of our faces. We can’t troubleshoot 3rd party software and we can’t troubleshoot dumbasseness and the customer are hell bent they know the problem and just want another phone. I have seen phones replaced because they can’t log in on facebook, that is clearly not a hardware issue but the customer and all his knowledge insisted it was an issue with the phone. When people buy smart phones they believe they are now intelligent and nothing is further from the truth. If you happen to own and android phone, please go to the market and read some of the comments on the applications and see the stupidity of the regular clueless cell phone user. Most of them are complaining or asking questions that are clearly address on the description, or trying to do something that their underpowered phone can’t support to begin with. Or the most hilarious, all the people complaining it take’s 15 or 20 minutes to download that 300mb application. Like clearly that’s the developer’s faults that your cell phone provider only has a slow ass connection… Clearly his fault.. After a while I learned ways of keeping the hipster happy, when they came in looking for a phone I will try my best to make them get an Iphone, since that phone is so “dummified” so ridiculously easy to use, it makes stupid people think they are smart. So even the laziest of the lazy feel contempt because they feel they are geniuses and fail to realize the phone was designed to comfort the masses, stupid or not. The other plus is that it keeps them away from me and I just say go to apple when they really got on my nerves. When an android user comes in with issues I ask one simple question first, do you know your Gmail email address and password. If they answer “I don’t have an Gmail address” then no matter what, they are getting a replacement because I no longer have the patience or power to deal with shit no more. I just have to do what I can to get them to get out of my face… like seriously you own a phone with a GOOGLE!! Operating system, you are downloading programs from the GOOGLE!! Market and you don’t even know that you have a Gmail account. That alone tells me that trying to explain anything is a waste of my time and energy and a new phone will make them leave. It wasn’t like that before, I tried to show and explained but it will many times will end up with an insult and some sort of escalation because they want another model phone. I had a customer that had a Motorola razor and upgraded to a droid 3, and was angry at me because he didn’t like some of the dialer functions on the phone, during the conversation he also mentioned he doesn’t have a home computer. Ok so let me get this straight, you have no idea what a desktop is, and has spent the last 5 years with the most basic phone in existence. You upgrade to a pda and are now demanding features that you never knew existed 2 days ago. He also was angry because the phone has 5 homescreen and he only wants one.. that’s fantastic, way to go buddy, buying a phone that has nothing you like and instead of returning and buying another one or something more to your needs or simply learning the new device, you come in and complain to me about it, because its clearly my fault you fucking twit. This is coming from someone with an android phone so I am not being biased, its just the way it is.
OH and lets not forget about Google search, Every so often,” Every third customer” we will would get someone with a physically damaged phone. It has nick, water beneath the screen or other user end damage that is completely oblivious to the customer. The customer only sees the phone is either unresponsive touch screen or intermittent power. They will come in and say I did a “Google search” and got thousands of search results of people having the same problem. GREAT!! That solves all your issues, lets just give you another phone that I am sure if you Google search will come up with millions of problems as well. You know what, go on Google and search frequent headache or the back of your neck hurt… or you ass hurts.. Go do it. I am positive after a few sites you will be convinced you have cancer. Search anything on Google and you will find more complaints or negatives than good, its UP TO YOU to decide what’s real or bullshit. Not everything on the internet is 100 percent the truth, have you not ever been on CNN.COM that site is completely bullshit.
I am not going to get into to tablets, I just cant, I don’t have the strength to share some of the horror stories I have with tablets. It doesn’t bother me, it hurts me just thinking about tablets and the bullshit people come in with. People don’t seem to realize a tablet is a cellphone with a big screen. There are only two real tablets in the market, the asus eeetablet with the core i5 and Wacom screen, and the heavily modified 3rd party apple modbook, everything else is useless shit.
Also all the rude things these idiots do, Like I am working with a customer and some idiot will walk up and just starts talking like there is no fucking line, that shit happens all day long. The worse thing is that they get mad when I say there is 10 people in line, WTF do you want me to do, help you first and then I have 10 people mad at me. See the problem with humanity is that we only think about ourselves fuck everybody else.
I can go all day with the horrors of doing this type of work, like for example email accounts. I love it when customer come in and tell me, Not ask, no, no, no they can’t be that polite. So they walk up and tell me they have a yahoo account, and for me to set it up. That’s all they tell me because they have no idea what the password or username is. When I tell them I need that to set it up, they respond “well on my home computer I just get emails, it just works like that. Again they are so smart they refuse to believe me that there is indeed a username and password to all email accounts, but no they insist I am the dumbass. Just because outlook or your browser remembers your passwords doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Or they come with there work email or personal website email and ask me to set it up, like I know all the email settings for all email accounts including the ones personally set for you..
Another one are the assholes that don’t back up anything, 5000 cell phone number or 2000 photos and they never think of backing it up. So when they obviously lose it, of course them not backing it up is my fault since I never told them to do so….. Even though I have never met them… Seriously I have had customer literally go, you never told me to do that after I ask them if they have backed it up. I have literally responded, “ I have never seen you in my life” but your right it is obviously my fault you are a fucking dumbass.
My breaking point happened when I was dealing with some idiot with a phone 7 months out of warranty, water damaged and look like it got ran over by a truck. He wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t get a free warranty replacement. He did not get the fact that it was 7 months out of warranty and while he was yelling at me, his spit flew from his germ infested mouth, over my glasses and right in my eye. It began to sting almost instantly, and then I realized that no amount of money is worth this shit. No amount of money is worth dealing with people that come to you for help and only disrespect you, insult you, while they stand there in front of you expecting you to help them. After doing this for this long, I can honestly say I am damaged, this changed the way I think today. Not all where like this, some are really sweet, but it only takes one idiot to ruin your day. There where days where I would leave work so pissed off, it will literally ruin my judgment. One time I drove pass a cop at around 110 mph and the last thing that went through my head was stopping, all I remember was taking a 35 mph exit at 105 a few miles later.
All of this doesn’t matter and Finally, FINALLY it will be over soon, and I will be able to say “fuck you” to all these fucking customers and be done with it. The sad part is as our “entertainment” technology grows people will only get more and more stupid.
I typed this out on my phone, so STFU with spell check